Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Know Me First

What anyone may think of me is none of my business. How I am perceived is none of my business. Any personal feelings about me is none of my business.

Anyone picking up a theme here? Well the theme is what is unknown to me is truly none of my business. If someone chooses to let me know their feelings, sentiment, personal belief of judgement of me or anything to do with me on my social media platforms - then it becomes my business.

The act of posting the comment has made that person known. Even if anonymous. It is easier said than done to ignore the comments. Sure let it roll off my back. Keep my head held high. Don't acknowledge it. Let it alone. Keep decorum and ignore adversity. Let good thoughts be my sword and shield.

Well that isn't what happens all the time. I've experienced verbal abuse at a very young age. At 3 years I remember an uncle saying something mean to me and locked me in a room. I was horrified not at being locked in the room but at the sound of hearing 'no one will love you if you're like that!' and all I thought was 'like what?'

Words have played a huge part in my relationship even with my own father. He has said some very detrimental consistent statements to me during my tween, teen and young adulthood. Even when I wasn't living at home I still had suffered his abuse. That realization to me was a strong knock me off my feet moment. It truly did happen when I allowed my mind to open up to the thoughts I had closed off.

Abuse even verbally has had a lasting effect on me which I have broken. Yes the words that are used on my social media platforms are very hurtful, rude and vulgar. Not every moment bothers me. There are times when it does. C'est la vie, right!?

How am I proceeding now? Well my journey is still moving ahead. You will see that my posts are still going. The blogs are coming for sure and my YouTube channel is ready. The new era of Joël is here.

What I've learned is I'm much more valuable than I ever gave myself credit for. People want to see me and hear my story. I've inspired people, that was a very 'Wow' moment. Recently learned too. My children benefit from my fearlessness. The support that is around is unmatched.

Lastly, all of what you've read thus far is a daily process of what I work against and through to be productive. My work begins in my mind first. Then my heart and then in the actual 'action' of it all. Constantly tending, mending and adjusting to make it all happen.

Surrendering to myself allows the best me to come forth. Accepting of it all helps me identify, target and focus. It's taken time but the best part is I'm so happy with myself.
That's the most important thing. I LOVE me. Self love has paved the way for me.




2 comments:

  1. Baby, you are a firework! And you deserve to be LIT! YASSSS!

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